Missouri Women Win!

Women in the state of Missouri now have the right to choose a Certified Professional Midwife to attend their home birth.  

Today the Missouri Supreme Court upheld the decision made in general session in 2007.  

The Missouri State Medical Association has 10 days to request a new hearing, but as we understand it, it is “very unusual” for the MO Supreme Court to re-hear a case.  

10 days from now, appropriately enough, is Independence Day. 

After all these years. 

Congratulations to the women and midwives of Missouri!

Glorious Sleep Came To Me In Graceland

For weeks now I have been sleeping terribly.  Laying awake in the dark with my mind spinning, sometimes just begging it to stop.  None of my usual meditation worked, my mind just couldn’t be silent long enough.  I would finally drift off fitfully around 1am, wake up to pee around 4, force myself back to sleep and my eyes would pop open, brain buzzing, around 7am.  Terrible. 

I tried homeopathics and herbs out of desperation.  They helped minimally.  

Somehow, some way, around night 3 of our vacation, I slept.  Finally slept.  In a hotel room no less.  I don’t know what switched, but I feel like a new woman.   Since that night I have been drifting off peacefully at a more reasonable 11:30pm, and waking up totally refreshed at 8 or even 9am!  I’ll never take sleeping for granted again.  I’m reborn.

 

We did a family trip to Memphis.  We were there for Daddio’s Daddy’s wedding.  We met the bride the day before the ceremony.  She’s lovely.  I love her Southern accent and learned many handy little Southern phrases from her.  

We did all you are supposed to do in the area.  We ate at the world famous Neely’s BBQ and, lemme tell you, I had a religious experience with a pork rib.

We did the Memphis Zoo.  It takes a lot for me to be impressed with a zoo, and Memphis has one on par with St Louis.   I was very much looking forward to seeing the pandas, and when I finally got a glimpse, I welled up with tears.  Who knows why - lack of sleep?

As you can see, however, they weren’t feeling much like playing:

The wedding the next day was lovely.  Just long enough and great food.   

The night ended in the swimming pool and then (trumpets and angels enter here)  I slept.  I finally, finally slept long and hard.  I woke up feeling great and told the family, “We are going to Graceland!”

Our trip to the home of Elvis was pretty typical, filled with shag carpet, naugahyde, mirrors, rhinestones, velvet and gold records as far as the eye could see. The kids would have been dead bored if I hadn’t spent all that time on their musical education - they know Elvis, by gum.  Hooray for homeschooling!

I called Darling SK on the steps just as we entered the mansion.  She’s my Elvis go-to girl and I always meant to make this trip with her someday.  As per her instructions, I touched something I wasn’t supposed to, a picture of Gladys and Vernon in the living room.                                                                                        I’d go again, darlin’, you just say the word.  It wasn’t the same without you, and we will definitely need a coupla margaritas before hopping on that tram!

So now we are home and life is back to normal.  The dog doesn’t hate us too much for putting her in a kennel, and I’m still sleeping like a baby.  

Hooray for Graceland.

Upping the ante

The show was amazing.  I can’t imagine a more perfect evening.  Well, I could have remembered that step I missed during “Forgive Them” - and the projector could have come on sooner for the second slide show, but all in all it was super splendiferous and I’m sad it is over. 

I have so much love and respect for the women I dance with.  Not just the DragonFlies, but every single woman (and the fellas!) who contributed her talent, passion, beauty and sweat to make this wonderful experience. 

Of course, biggest props go to my dear friend Kandi.  She truly has created something special.  I admire her drive, focus, talent and capacity to love.   She’s been a great friend to me for many years - and I’m so happy that we get to share this too.

My first reaction to learning that my dance troupe will now have 4 hour rehearsals every Sunday, a second required weekly rehearsal and more advanced work with some new dancers?

Oh hell yeah - bring it on!

Onward!

 

busy, busy, busy…

First and foremost - the new MotherHip site is up!  Still tweaking some details…

www.motherhip.com

So it was bound to happen at some point.  I was on stage rehearsing for the super big show this weekend. I’m in costume, dancing my heart out.  There is a photographer there from the paper.  I spin, I undulate, I leap - I feel suddenly, um, unsupported.  I glance down and my entire left breast had popped out of my costume!   Tucked that baby right back in and kept going, thankful that my mask can cover the blush of embarrassment on my cheeks.   When I finished my dance a stamped a foot and said to the few friends watching, “OK, when were you guys gonna tell me that my breast was hanging out?”   They laughed and assured me that I caught it very quickly.    

This has got to be some dancer rite of passage, I’m assuming.

So the big show!   This Saturday, May 31st at Columbia College Launer Auditorium - 7:30pm    For my local friends, you really, really do not want to miss this show.  It is going to me incredibly fantastic.   Darling SK, you should know that your gorgeous pregnancy and birth photos are featured!

 

Birth Junkie

A lovely young photojournalism major has been following me around for a few weeks.  Stephanie is super sweet and I feel like we have become friends.  Garoo and Filbert are certainly fond of her. 

Stephanie was working on a final project for her multimedia class and I was her subject.  She visited all of my assorted classes and rehearsals, hung out with the family one evening, watched me get tattooed, and came to a birth with me (which we waited long enough for!)  She’s just a joy to have around, and I’m impressed with her ability to just observe and pick moments - and I’m really impressed that even a not completely smooth birth didn’t phase her in the least. 

Here is her final project.  It is amazing to see what photos are picked from the thousands she must have taken.  She’s going to give me a couple of CDs of pics (joy!), and she’s going to perhaps make a couple of other multimedia slideshows from the materials she’s gathered already.   We’ve had such fun!

http://web.missouri.edu/%7Eslhfg7/DeeDee/slideshow/index.html

Life is good

Haven’t sat down much to write lately.  Living life instead of writing about it.  Sometimes I just can’t do both!

The MotherHip workshops in California are coming along.  I’ve had some very positive contacts and it is shaping up to be an amazing trip.  I’m going to drive down the CA coastline with an old friend between gigs.  Mama finally gets a (albeit working) vacation!  I’ll get to see my cousin M - hooray!

A friend told me about an opportunity to choreograph a local production this summer.  I’ve never done a whole show - but it sure sounds like fun!  I’m thinking I might have to give it a go.

The salad I’m eating right now is a thing of beauty. 

The weather is gorgeous.

I’ve got a rehearsal tonight that I’m really looking forward to.

My kids have been happily playing for hours.  This almost never happens anymore.  Bliss!

 

Hells Bells - I got called out!

Here’s the darn RULES - Post rules before giving the facts - Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves - People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules - At the end of the your blog you need to tag three people and list their names - Leave them a comment on their blog, telling them they have been tagged and not to forget to read your blog.

Man, I never know who to tag on these things.  I don’t know a lot of folks who read my blog, so I’m going to have to think about that while I write more useless (though perhaps not entirely unamusing) trivia about myself.  Hey, isn’t that what a blog is for anyway?

1.  My knee-jerk reaction to anger directed at me is to feel immediately guilty and ashamed.  Damned childhood issues.  It is only a little later that I can usually clear my head enough to see whether or not guilt and shame are necessary.   Surprise - usually they aren’t!

 

2.  I’ve noticed a pattern.  Whenever I get a new tattoo, such as last week, I always feel a moment or two of regret.  OK, regret is a strong word.  I always feel that moment of “OH shizz - this is forever!”.  I always feel that only after the tattoo is done - and it only lasts moments before I’m good again.  It is kind of like that moment when the pregnancy test turns the “YUP” color.  You have that mixture of elation, terror and that definite sense of  ”Whoah, my life has just changed forever”.   Yeah, same feeling.

 

3.  I’m amazed that people want to pay me the better part of a grand to come sit with them during their births.  I mean, I’m good at what I do, and far be it for me to ever judge a woman’s needs - sincerely.  However, I’m on my way this morning to sit next to a woman who is being induced and knows she wants an epidural ASAP.  She asked me to bring a deck of cards, some knitting and my camera.   I’ll happily do that, and I’ll be great company, take good pictures and help that baby get latched on properly and pronto.  I’m just amazed that I’m getting paid for it!

 

4.  I love working out.  But I’m lazy by nature. I tend to go through these spurts where getting my ass off of it’s present cushy surface is nigh impossible.  The next week I’m not sitting at all.  This week I’m super motivated.  I’ve worked out every morning, don’t feel the least bit reticent about going to any of my classes, and have even played tennis (I love tennis - but I suck at it).   

 

5.  I love lilacs.  Love them.  I want to marry them, roll around in a huge bed of them, have their little flowery babies and get them tattooed all over my left arm.  The smell of blooming lilacs makes me swoon and feel instantly calm yet energetic.  Magical.

 

6.  I’ve seen many an animal killed and prepared as food.  As a child living in Idaho, Dad used to come home with 100 rabbits at a time, butcher them on the kitchen floor, and fill the freezer.  Every fall I’d wake up to a freshly killed deer hanging from a tree in the yard.  These things didn’t bother me.  I’m not overly precious about animals being used for food, though I truly believe that all food animals should be treated humanely throughout their lives and be honored for becoming energy for us.  I know that if I needed to kill to live that I’d be competent and have no problems doing so.  That said, if there were plenty of other food available but I needed to kill any meat we desired - I’d totally be a vegetarian.

 

7.  For the 6 years my Mom’s boyfriend was just a friendly guy who was dating my Mom and making her happy.  When he died suddenly last year, I realized that he was so much more.  He was a surrogate Grandfather to my children and somewhat of a Father-figure to me.  He gave plenty of unsolicited but well meaning advice, took the kids on little fishing outings, manned the BBQ at summer family gatherings.   I was surprised at the depth of feeling we all had for him once he was gone.  We all miss him very much.

 

8.  I’m no longer sorry that my nose bling is gone.  Picking my schnozz is so much easier!

 

I just got the call to go see this mama - I’ll have to call out my friends later!

Roller Derby Girls Rule the World

Seriously, come an invasion from another world, or just walking down a dark street at night - I want a roller derby girl at my side.

The DragonFlies did a small half time bit for the local roller derby and it was rad.
Those girls are tough with a capital “oh my god” and watching them was a riot. I totally got into it.
Christi and I joked that we wouldn’t last two minutes in the ring with them, we’d be the ones cringing with our hands covering our faces and whining “You’re hurting me!”

The performance went well enough, a few glitches.  But, you know, you can practice and focus and know that puppy cold stone perfect - and when you get out there, it is going to be what it is going to be.   Sometimes it is flawless and the energy is amazing.  Sometimes it has a hitch in the getalong but you still feel the love, which describes the performance at the roller derby well.   And, well, other times it just isn’t what you’d hoped at all.  Montgomery City, anyone?

After the derby C and K and I went for margaritas and food.  I loved hanging out with them and there were plenty of laughs and venting.  In another little act of extra special birthday lurve, they paid for my share!

 

Yesterday was Earth Day, a pretty big dealio around these parts.  Crowded streets, kettle corn, lots of dreadlocks, and the ubiquitous Jesus hippy imploring us to pick up the good book.

All my amazing and talented Mama friends were out in full force, representing like a mofo.  The booths looked great, trade was swift - my lady friends are so on it.

The main stage performance by the DragonFlies and Moonbelly worked.  I very much look forward to the long rehearsals we will have leading the big show in May.  There are a few soft spots.  But the crowd loved it and I believe that we are the only ones who really knew the difference.

I stand by my previous statements that carpet on bumpy ground is possibly the worst dance surface.  I literally took a stumble on a quick turn - luckily recovering quickly.   

Lots of folks crowded the booth for the encore performances and improv dancing.   Lots of folks got the studio schedule and various fliers in their hands….so mission accomplished.

 

Random Earth Day thoughts and events:

Kettle corn rules, but there is certainly a limit which one must not cross.  It is best to temper your kettle corn intake with plenty of water and some protein.

I was approached by a very skinny, very pale, very stoned young woman.  She wished me a “happy Earth Day, Sister” and gave me a big hug.  Normally I would have gone stiff and felt weird about that - but I was able to give her a genuine hug back and just laugh a little as she walked away to hug another.  Check me out, all growing and becoming more human!

Another quite doped young person comes to the booth and mutters something completely unintelligible at me.  “Beg your pardon?” I say politely.  “Good job at the roller derby last night.  I liked your dance.  I’m a ref”.  I reply, “Hey, thank you, that was fun!  I enjoyed the derby - and I loved your skirt, man”.  He literally snarls, shrugs and spits out “Whatever” and runs off.  OoooK.

Did you know that Jesus saves?  Apparently it’s true.

Amazing how much paper flies around at Earth Day.

I ran into a woman I haven’t seen in nearly 8 years - she mistook me for 13 year old daughter.  I’m so not complaining!

I walked from the festivities with a buddy, as we parted I said, “Hey, I’m off to eat some factory farmed beef!”.  Without missing a beat she replied, “I’m going to Wal-Mart!”.

This is why I love my girlfriends.

 

…getting older is a high price to pay for maturity…

I was given the opportunity to put into practice the saying now indelibly etched on my hip.

I awoke at 7am on Wednesday and did a full day of house, kids, running errands, etc.  Went to a workout class at 5p and then rehearsed for an hour for the shows this weekend.
Came home and had a nice dinner, talked with the kids, and began to think about bed.

The phone rang and the caller ID let me know that I probably would have other plans for the night.

I meet the couple at the birth center and things seem a bit grim.
Mom has been laboring for over 24 hours at home with her husband and doula. They are all exhausted, the labor pattern is erratic at best, and Mom is only 3cm dilated.
Also, Mom is feeling every twinge of this labor in her back - a classic sign of posterior position of baby - and a looong painful labor usually results.
This exact scenario is what led to Mom’s first birth by cesarean section - and that surgery led her to us. Mom really wants to push this baby out, but she is exhausted, beginning to get tense, and is wondering about her ability to handle much more labor.
Baby sounds perfect.
We send Dad to bed, we are going to need fresh people later as labor continues to drag on.

The doula and I work on getting Mom relaxed - and it is not an easy task. Contractions are only about 30 seconds long, coming at completely sporadic intervals, but with every one Mom becomes more and more tense, her thigh muscles are strumming.
After two solid hours of candlelight, constant stroking and calm verbal coaching, Mom begins to loosen up. Her breath comes evenly, her thigh muscles are quiet, she moans deep and low with the intensity. She is starting to surrender to this labor.

Mom asks for me to check her and a little progress has been made. For the first time ever I can clearly feel, through the sutures and fontanelles on baby’s head, how baby must rotate for this labor to progress well. I ask Mom if I can attempt to move baby and she agrees. For the next two contractions I gently apply upward pressure to one side of the back of baby’s head in an attempt to encourage rotation. I feel a little movement, both Mom and doula notice the shift, and we decide to see if this changes the pattern of her labor.
Back pain is still strong, but the contractions have a much tidier pattern and last longer.
It take another little while to encourage Mom to relax with this new upswing in intensity, but she settles into it.

Soon Mom is asking for Dad. She needs her honey to help her. He comes back in the room and they immediately fall into a great rhythm together. It is as if the rest of us fall away.
I send the doula to bed and wait through another 15 minutes of contractions just to make sure I’m not needed. I whisper to Dad that I’ll be the next room over, resting, and to come get me if they need anything.

40 minutes later my physician friend is at the foot of the bed. This woman is amazing and somehow from her home just felt that she should be there now.
Before she can express this to me, I hear Mom making serious noise.
I jump up, forgetting about shoes, and we run into the other room.

Mom is laying in much the same position I left her in, only now in a huge puddle of amniotic fluid.
She is obviously pushing in earnest.
We begin to fill the birth tub and, in rather a hurry now, gather birth supplies.
Everything we need is set up now, and I glance at the tub and think, “Yes! We are gonna make it!”
Just then Mom lets out a roar that makes us all stop and look.
I see the labia open just a tiny bit and then POP, out comes the head. I take two big ‘ol dancer leaps to the bed and support that head just as POP, out come the shoulders!

Baby is pink and screaming immediately, and I put her up on her Mama.
Nursing commences nearly immediately.
Mom is bleeding a lot and inspection shows a huge tear - the biggest I’ve seen.
Damn.
We stop the bleeding and keep Mom and baby comfortable and monitored.
Doc and I confer and both agree that this tear needs bright light and a surgeon’s touch.
We tell Mom that we believe it is in her best interest to go to the hospital and let an OB sew her up.
Doc goes with her and Dad, and the doula and I stay behind to clean up and clean and admire this cute baby girl.  I tell her that April 17th is a good birthday to have.

When the family + doc return 2 hours later, we have breakfast and coffee.   Baby latches on again for her own breakfast and we leave the new family to rest. 

My co-workers are now showing up for what is going to be a full day in the clinic.  I’m completely exhausted and fading fast - a loving co-worker puts a latte and a birthday present in my hands.  I put on some fresh clothes and a little makeup, and find a spray of grey as I pull my hair back into an easy ponytail.  Megan laughs and tells me that my ass and boobs will fall today, too.  Didn’t I know that about turning 35?

My first client shows up and I’m just functioning at this point.  I’m wondering how I’m going to get through the day, but every single client seemed to know that it was my birthday (I’m thinking the receptionist told them all!), and are very sweet and sympathetic that I’ve had no sleep.  

I turned 35 at precisely 12:19pm, and the meeting room table is full of sweets, tiny presents and cards - and even hot veggie pizza with crunchy thin crust - my favorite kind.   I fill my belly and laugh with my good friends. 

One more client to see, and it’s a doozy.  This Mom has recently been enveloped in a crushing postpartum depression that was bordering on full blown psychosis.  I have never worked with such an extreme case and she has occupied much of my time and emotional energy.  I brace myself and clear my head to see her.

She comes in smiling.  Wearing cute clothes and a little lip gloss.  Baby is resting peacefully in her arms.  Her husband is smiling too.  This is a good sign.  We give one another huge hugs and she proceeds to tell me how wonderful she is feeling.  She is sleeping, she is eating, she loves her baby and her husband.  She cannot fathom that a week ago she was considering harming herself.   She says, “On a scale of one to ten, 0 was my rock bottom.  Now every day I climb a little higher - and today I’m an easy 8″.

The cherry on top.

I come home and my kids and hubby are falling all over themselves to make me comfortable.  I ate some leftover duck from the night before, and nibble on the chocolate banana treat that Filbert made just for me for my birthday (I just couldn’t tell her that I was on total sweet overload!).  

I fall into bed before dark and realize that I really did have a birthday today.  I didn’t go out and I didn’t whoop it up and I didn’t feel particularly sassy - but I was showered with love and I worked my ass off and all in my care were loved and are doing well. 

Rock on.

where it’s at…

I decided to get this new ink for my birthday (I’m 35 tomorrow, thankyouverymuch!).

The image is flipped so you can read it, but I had it placed on my right hip because I’m trying to spend more time in my creative, feeling brain.
The quote by Mother Theresa is one that I have held close for years. I even chose it as the motto of our birth center. It is a reminder to me to keep myself grounded and to try to put love and passion into everything I do.